My Prostitution Toothache

So this morning when I woke up I had an expceptionally bad toothache.  Now aside from the early morning scramble to find a tube of oragel it was a particularly stressful day because I keep replaying in my mind the scene in which the toothache began. My toothache is a direct result of an exceptionally bad injury and sustained when I was still under the control of my first pimp.  He was by far the worst of them all. Always angry and a drug problem that you wouldn’t believe. 
I can’t tell you what he was mad about that day because when I think back I never really know what he was angry about.  It was always something that pertained to me being stupid or incompetent or not good enough.
This particular day was that like every other.  I had a couple dates, made some money, and he was very very mad.  He was shouting and screaming in the face and I was trembling for my life.  If I screamed and cried it would only get worse and he would call me weak.  He was one of those people that paced he got mad so you would have to follow him from room to room.  I do not remember how the argument started but my memory starts when we were in the living room.  He was holding me by my throat, dangling me in mid air and I couldn’t breathe.  I was flailimg like a fish out of water, gagging for air.  I stopped moving and I was almost dead but he let me go just in time.  I was incredibly dizzy but he was screaming for me to get off the floor. I tried multiple times to push my body up but it was too weak and I kept slamming my head into the ground because my head would not allow me to pick it up.  He was yelling at me more because he thought I was slamming my head on purpose because he knows I had a self injury problem. I hit my head five maybe six times when I could finally get up he was still yelling and I followed him to the bathroom. When I look in the mirror I had bruises all over my forehead and they faded into bruises from a broken nose I had from the week before.  Eventually I took a roundhouse kick to the left side of my face.  My jaw snapped like a tree and my tooth cracked. Once again I fell to the floor and my face was in a searing pain. I started crying even though that’s typically not allowed in the stable. I was screaming bloody murder and he had realized what he done. I couldn’t open my mouth and my face was swollen 2 times its size. I didn’t even recognize the girl in the mirror with so many bruises. To this day my smile is still crooked but I know how big I am allowed to smile before anyone notices. Most people would be upset by being kicked in the face like this but I was relieved because once he hurts me that badly that means the argument was over. We attempted to go smoke some weed to calm down after all of this but I bit the inside of my lip and it stung to hit the bowl.  He had to hit the bowl and blow the smoke into my mouth if I wanted to get high. And I promise you this day I needed to get high. I wasn’t going to go to the hospital so we went to the mob doctor instead and he snapped my jaw back into place. It took days for the swelling to go down and I couldn’t even work. I tried to take a date once but he walked out because my face was horrible. I wasn’t worth his time or money with my disfigurement.
The cracking of my tooth went unnoticed for the most part. I knew my tooth was hurt but with the other injuries it was the least of my worries.  I walked around with my cracked tooth for 3 years and it never hurt.  About 7 months ago I bit into an apple in half of the tooth came out.  It still didnt hurt but I freaked out when I reached to the back of my mouth and half of my tooth was gone.  Over the past 7 months it is only hurt once in awhile but over the past few weeks it’s starting to catch up. I know I’ll have to go to the dentist soon and possibly have it removed to work app.  But until then I have this nasty little reminder in the back of my mouth about how disgusting this game really is.

Murder of Ivy on May 16

Before I start on my story I want to share the story of Ivy…
Ivy was a traveling working girl.  Although she was a resident of Portland, Oregan she frequently visited Oahu, Hawaii a lot.  She was last seen on the morning of May 16 at 2:15 am at bar right on The Track of Waikiki.  When the initial reports came out Police reported that it was an unattended death of a tourist here for her birthday.  Yeah bullshit.
She left the bar with a date and her body was discovered on the Waianae Coast some time later.  Her brother was interviewed and came forward and admitted that she had worked as an escort.
On the underground side of things her pimp and fellow working sisters were freaking out.  Although there are many violent, very mean pimps in this area (referred to as gorilla pimps), she had a finesse pimp.  The type that is nicer and takes care if you.  They had a pretty good relationship.  Ivy’s pimp contacted one of the Prostitution Outreach programs and even though he knew that their job is help get girls out of the game and that this agency often works on cooperation with law enforcement (LE is the abbreviation in the trick world) he cared about her enough to call and relay information to them that her phone had not been used since the time she left with her very last date.  The man that she was with claimed that he had left her safe and sound after four am.  This information was passed from this agency over to the police and raised many suspicions that were already in place.  This is not public knowledge, don’t ask how I know all of that.
An arrest was finally made a few days ago.  It was the very last date that she saw.  He is an active military marine.  He has been charged with second degree murder.  Hopefully they have enough to pin this bastard and put him away for years.  Working girls go through enough and no one deserves to die.  No one has said yet what information led to his arrest but The Game thinks it had to so with a craigslist post involving the selling of what it believed to be jewelry that he stole from her after killing her.  He was arrested at the airport.  Ivy had just turned 29 years old.  May you rest in peace Ivy.

Even for Honolulu Escorts that didn’t know her, it still shook their world. There were hundreds of girls working the Waikiki Track that night and it could have been anyone of them that got the date that ended their life. I was on the track that night…it could have been me.

Every one is maintaining that there is no proof that Ivy was an escort.  Understand that prostitution is mostly accepted in Hawaii, hence why The Game here is so big and so dangerous.  Police at the bottom are paid off.  And up until only a few years ago, even violent pimping was simply a misdemeanor.  When heat gets too hot they will arrest a cop for the rape of a track girl.  Well that honestly happens about every night so whatever.  Steps are being taken to get law enforcement to take human trafficking more seriously.  Maybe if they did Ivy would still be alive.

For more information on Ivy’s murder and arrest of Nathan Cosby see

I will update this post as more information becomes available
If any of my information is wrong (and it isn’t) feel free to send me an email and I will happily correct it.




Welcome To The Game


This is a poem I wrote, and a great way to introduce to focus of my blog. I call it “Welcome To The Game”

I was only 14 when I was taken away
No more childhood, no more time to play
Manipulated by the words of an evil man
Telling me he loved me was just part of his plan
We were all shot up with GHB
So drugged and confused with no way to flea
Make up all done and dressed like a whore
Thrown in a van, forced to lay on the floor
A ten minute drive and then we were there
I was pulled inside by the strings of my hair
It was a dark room and I stood centerstage
And sold to a man over three times my age
When we got to his house he said “sex not rape”
And it was all recorded so I stole the tape
After smoking Meth he stabbed me all high
Bruised and bleeding on the carpet, I wanted to die
I thought of the things that I had once had
And I cried out loud for my mom and my dad
After being groomed I took date after date
And by this time I had accepted my fate
He killed my best friend in front of my eyes
And I was so scared I backed up his lies
I was sure I was next and begged him not to shoot
Welcome to the life of a child prostitute
After getting dressed up, I would go walk the track
Never bringing less than a thousand dollars back
Seven thousand five hundred was my price to be traded
My new pimp was nicer and my bruises had faded
Instead of the track I was pimped out online
I started to think everything would be fine
Somehow I became a prostitute star
And made to believe that I would go far
I become the second girl from the top
That’s a good place to be so why try to stop?
But eventually he had gotten busted
Snitched on by some girls that he trusted
We were arrested together, he and I
And I covered him in a well practiced lie
When I went on probation, relief finally came
I was moved out of state and out of the game
But I made a mistake and I had to come back
When I got on the plane I had a panic attack
In only two days word was that I was back around
And after twenty four hours, I had been found
I went back to the one that was least violent of all
Trickin again, I could feel myself fall
The dates pay you in cash or drugs
They shower you with kind words and hugs
Pretending to want sex when you don’t is like the worst thing
You don’t understand the pain that can bring
In less than six weeks I couldn’t even tell you the year
Because the game is based on confusion and fear
God answered a prayer when I asked him to take me away
A prayer it would all be over one day
A police sting operation was my very last date
A warm summer night that changed my fate
At first I ran but I didn’t get far
I was hiding and shaking and holding my scar
I stood there naked while cops shined a light in my face
They said I could get out and be in a safe place
I tried to tell them all that I knew
But six hours isn’t enough to tell you all I’ve been through
Now I’m in a safe house and don’t know what’s next
I’m too scared to go out so I just sit and text
A target goes out for the girls who snitch
Usually put out by the bottom bitch
It all hurts so much I would rather be numb
I try to break the thoughts that I’m pretty but dumb
Law enforcement was supposed to be the enemy
But now I don’t know because they set me free
I don’t know what my future will hold
But it will be better, at least so I’m told
I haven’t taken my slave mark off yet
I started to once but began to fret
I can’t eat or sleep and flashbacks plaque my head
I try not to think, tossing and turning in bed
I hate this feeling of being alone
And I’m confused about where my life has been thrown
I can’t really picture my life off the track
But I promise myself I will never go back
I know there is a life outside of the tricks
But before that there is a lot that needs fixed
Nothing good ever comes out of this stuff
Eventually every girl will have has enough
Some will get out and some never do
They say you age out but that isn’t true
I knew someone who aged out at fifty six
Bit she died a year later, a methamphetamine fix
Most girls who get out just switch to selling drugs
They roll around with the gangsters and thugs
While others end up back where they began
Because it’s the only world that they understand
If not your not in the game what you think is probably wrong
Preconceived notions tend to tag along
Girls are treated like ragdolls back on the stables
It’s not fun or pretty like in the fables
If you think the girls like it, don’t be a fool
No one wants to live under dictator rule
There honestly is nothing to gain
To want this life you must be insane
Pimps and prostitutes ate trained from the time they are young
They’ll be stuck in this world til their days are done
You can take a pimp off the street one will replace him the same
So if this is new news to you…Welcome to the Game.


This blog is going to shed light on a dark world most can only imagine.  I will include my personal experiances with general information on The Game of Honolulu as well as updates from what’s going on down at the track.  The track refers to a certain line of streets in the heart of Waikiki that is known as a red light area.  I hope to bring this world into the light and expose it for what it really is.

If you are being trafficked there is help. Get yourself out before it’s to late. 
For Hawaii…

For Continental US… 

If you want help but you’re scared, and I know you are…I am here too. And I know what you go through. And I know you deserve better.