Grand Jury Was Today…

I woke up this morning and I was so nervous. I started dying my hair back to a normal color so it be good for court. And then my advocate picked me up and it was time to go. I smoke cigarettes the entire way, I was shaking, and I didn’t know what to do.  When we got there, as we started to walk through the metal detector, I started to really freak out. We sat in this private room with all of the police officers that worked my case, my advocates, and the prosecutor. And then they took me into this back room where they asked me all kinds of questions and they were prepping me for grand jury. They were embarrassing questions like how we use to have sex for money and sometimes we would get paid in drugs. How we didn’t get to keep it and how’s he would intimadate or threaten us.  I had to talk about being sold for 7500 dollars for one person to another and all kinds of things that I bury real deep inside and never talk about.  I sat in complete fear and anxiety until finally they called my name and it was time for me to speak.  All of the questions that I had to say in front of the grand jury were the ones that the prosecutor had already asked me in the private room and I had to swear in that I was telling the truth. I had to repeat everything in front of a group of a bunch of people that I didn’t know and I was shaking and almost started tearing up a few times. People were shaking their heads in disbelief and at the end of it I guess they decided that it was a disgusting enough story for them to go on with court because jury decided it was enough to officially charge him.  He was formally charged with three counts of promoting prostitution in the first. Which carries a sentence of a maximum of 20 years in jail per count.  I’m glad that everybody believes me that was the thing I was most worried about because sometimes they think that girls want to be a in this shit.  I guess they took one look at me and decided that I was too small and too cute to want to do this on my own. I’m really I’m just happy that they believed me.  His bail is only a hundred thousand dollars which isn’t enough to keep in jail but probably don’t want to put it up anyway will probably just wait until the official trial.  I get to relax now, but I don’t feel much better. 60 years is a long time. I’ve been to jail, I know what it’s like to be there, I’ve never been for a long time but the idea of putting anyone away until they are 86 or 87 just gives me just makes me feel horrible.  Tomorrow I have to go back to court, but its for my own stuff. I hope they don’t revoke my probation.  I’m really not a bad person, its just when I had my first pimp I was stealing food because I was literally starving and I had drugs on me.  My old pimp was a drug dealer as well. I’m praying and wishing for the best. Even though I don’t know if I can test pass a drug test I went buy to detox drink that should help me out in case it hasn’t been long enough for my system to clear out.. I only smoke weed, it’s really hard to turn tricks and not.  I just put a very scary person in jail, and now showing up in jail would be the worst.  Now I’m a snitch and they would probably tear me alive in there.  I’m on the 76 pounds so I’m not exactly the strongest person in the world and I know that I cannot defend myself. I’m just hoping and praying to God to the best and hopefully everything works out because I don’t know how much more I can take right now. God be with me.


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