I wasn’t always a human sex slave, although many of the dates I used to see would tell me I am great at and I shouldn’t do anything else. They didn’t see me hand over my money to someone else later. They didn’t listen to the threats or watch the other girls and me get our asses handed to us on the regular. They weren’t there at night when silent tears would stress me to sleep. They don’t think that I have a dad and a brother that is just like them. And most appaulingly they can’t imagine that I ever had a life before all of this but I promise you that I did. I was a cheerleader and on my way to semi pro. I never had daddy issues and I was never sexually abused as a kid. No one can really imagine that my family is actually well to do. They don’t know I have a mom that is a teacher and a dad that works two jobs. I was a smart kid, with an IQ just a few points shy of genius. So what was my flaw? My perfectionist mentality. I never felt like what I did was good enough and that is all a pimp needed to know.
If you met me today you would think I was pretty, smart and extremely friendly. As most young adults I have since come into my own, accepting myself for who I am but this was not always the case. I always felt like I didn’t fit in so perfectly even though looking back now I was quite popular.
As a high school freshman my peers saw me as a goody two shoes. I would go to parties with the football players and cheerleaders but I never drank or smoked weed. High school was different from middle school and my goody two shoes demeanor didn’t get me much attention from the guys. I would just sit back and watch other girls drink and have fun. I would watch them get drunk and take their clothes off and the guys would adore them. Sluts get all the attention…and I would learn that pretty soon.
My first real relationship happened that year. He was a party boy but it didn’t seem to bother him that I didn’t party. I was head over heels in love like a fool. You know, the young and naive. I smoked weed with him once ay his house on a porch swing. We overlooked the mountains and talked forever. If I was high I didn’t realize it. When the two of us would go out to parties I would only drink enough to give the illusion that I belonged there but I was careful to never get drunk. And after six months my heart was broken into a million little pieces when he was cheating on me with a girl I introduced him to. I look back now and realize that heartbreak was petty.
Cheerleading season was over and school was boring so I started dressing a little sexier and partying a little more. I acted up in class and I was almost always late…but the more I did it the more people loved me. And I liked it. Saturday detention became a normal thing but I would just laugh because I had good friends in there.
Before school one day I finally knocked the girl who stole my first boyfriend. I was so upset that day I do not remember flying across the hallway and breaking her nose and I don’t remember the fight. I just remember friends pulling us apart from each other. I don’t regret that moment…if I was in that situation this day I would still punch her.
I walked with a friend of mine that we will call David and my teacher to the office. I was calm by then and laughed when my teacher asked if I got her good. The whole school, staff and all had been watching the drama escalate for months and the fight came to no ones surprise.
As I sat in the vice principles waiting room I was pretty over the whole thing. Dave and I chatted easily about our plans for weekend and I was fine. At least until the girl I fought was sat down in the waiting room across from me. She started talking shit to me and I was already on edge with her so I jumped out of my seat to finish what we started. Only it didn’t happen that way. A school security guard jumped in front of her and I managed to punch him instead.
The decision was made not to return me to that school that year. No one could figure out what happened to sweet, kind, adorible Bree and they had no clue the battles I was dealing with inside regarding self image.
I finished off that school year at a much smaller school a half hour away. I loved it. I learned to balance my cool, party girl image with still getting straight A’s. I spent 8 weeks there and then it was summer vacation. It would appear that my life was somewhat back to normal. And it was. At first. At least until my family relocated to Mililani, Hawaii.
See Part Two